| 112 :: smells good. |
[Feb. 5th, 2010|10:26 pm] |
we had a very nice time with my parents. mostly just going out for dinner and spending time together. but their stay was far too short and i wish they could have stayed longer. next time !
on monday i finally gathered up every tiny piece of courage i had and called the wedding friends. i was nervous&flustered, definitely out of my comfort zone, but she was really nice and we made plans for that evening. we took jaxon for his very first swimming experience. he LOVED it. we bought him these amazing little swim trunks and let him kick around in the pool. it was also his first time meeting another baby. rio is about four months older than jaxon. cutest little guy and such a sweet personality. they seemed somewhat fascinated by each other. we had a really good time. and it was just refreshing to be with another couple that seemed to match us quite comfortably. him and ryan seem to get along really well, both working in construction. and she is in the same position as me. being a mum with a really young baby and no close friends at that same stage of life. hopefully we'll get together with them again soon.
jaxon's teeth are coming in really good. he's starting to sleep better again, thank goodness. and i've decided it's time for me to get him into a night time routine. the past three nights i've given him a nice bath before rocking him to sleep. i think it helps. or i'm confident that it will, anyway. and he always smells good now too, as an added bonus.
some exciting news :: ryan got into school for march ! big deal. he was supposed to go in august, but i like this better. it's nice for him to be able to get it finished sooner. and it'll help us financially, considering he gets his raise when he's finished. that'll be a huge help. plus it also means long weekends for us. which means he'll be around more with me&jaxon. which means more weekend getaways. and family adventures.
well, until next week.
erin. |
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| 111 :: bumbo. |
[Jan. 30th, 2010|01:07 pm] |
i suppose jaxon realized he didn't give me much to work with last week, so he made up for it by doing all sorts of new things for me this week. there's been a lot of me yelling "OH MY GOODNESS" and running around with excitement.
on tuesday i was reading a book with jaxon sitting in his pillow next to me and i looked at him and saw a tooth ! his very first. he's an early bird. not even four months old yet. i wasn't sure if there were two there or if i was seeing things, but my mum confirmed the second tooth's appearance when her and my dad came here on thursday evening. so while i feel for the fact that jaxon is in a lot of pain most of the time, i still struggle with the challenging nights. last night, for instance, he woke up once every hour. it was nice to have my mum here to hand him off to. and i've been able to sleep in quite late, but i don't think there's any amount of sleep in the world that will make me feel fully rested anymore. baby oragel is a life saver though, as well as baby tylenol. but mostly i just can't wait for this whole teething process to be over. even though i have a veerry long time to go yet.
yesterday jaxon FINALLY fully rolled over. got onto his tummy and, after a lot of work, managed to pull his arm out from under him. which sent me running, making high pitched squeals, all over the house telling ryan about this significant milestone. unfortunately he tends to get onto his tummy and then freak out because he's still quite stuck there, and he hates it. until he learns that rolling over can happen in both directions.
we bought him a bumbo seat yesterday. he loves it. he doesn't like sitting on his own unless he can sit up fully. in most circumstances he hates sitting in his pillow because it's on too much of an angle for him. but the bumbo sits him straight up. the thing is that he tends to wiggle his way in it so that he's leaning to the right. it's not even that he can't hold himself up, it's just that he really prefers to sit leaning over the edge. it's amusing.
it's so amazing to watch all these things happen. things you find yourself waiting for and then shocked at when they seem to come so soon. my baby is growing fast. my mum says he already looks so different, in only a months time.
i'm going to look up places to go that are for mums&their babies. i need to get out of the house more often. and i want to meet new people. people that are in the same stage of life as me. people that want to be around me and jax. and people that i want to be around as well. and maybe i'll find the courage to call lindsey up at some point this week. we'll see.
much love,
erin. |
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| 110 :: something magical. |
[Jan. 22nd, 2010|11:40 pm] |
last saturday we went to a friends wedding. it was really relaxed and we had a good time. we got seated at a table with this couple that had a seven month old baby boy. they were really great people. and very comfortable to chat with. me and her had babies to talk about and ryan and him both worked in construction. even working on the same project, obviously without knowing each other. but it was just nice to have a couple that were at the same stage of life as us, that were normal and were interested in potentially meeting up again. so we'll see if that happens. in any case it ended up being a really good afternoon. and considering it started off horribly, it was a big relief for it to end as well as it did.
on monday i took jaxon for his there month check up. back to my original doctor. he's still healthy. still growing at generally the same rate. he's just about fourteen pounds !
this week was probably the most baby bluesy i've had in a long time. it felt like every other night i was having a breakdown. i think i've just been getting so tired from jaxon being back in his wake up in the night phase that i've been feeling horribly overwhelmed. my job is now a twenty-four hour a day gig. with jaxon all day, cleaning the house, making dinner and sterilizing bottles until eleven at night. it's exhausting. and it's not something you really understand until you've been there. i was definitely warned about how tiring it is to be a mum, but it's sooo much more than i could have imagined. it's a good thing i love being jaxon's mum.
i'm excited because i got my new calendar. i gave in a bought a kurt halsey one. it's big and beautiful and i'm in love with it. and i also got the scarf from wanda. which i'm so excited to have for the next couple weeks. hopefully something magical happens that i can document.
i'm having a huge bout of writers block. i feel like i should have a lot more to say. but i think being trapped in my house for most of the week has made cause for a boring blog update. boo.
much love,
erin. |
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| 109 :: really delicious. |
[Jan. 15th, 2010|08:40 pm] |
this week has gone by incredibly fast. it feels like it should still be thursday or something. i have no idea where all the time has gone.
this week ryan finally convinced me that it was time to get jaxon into his crib. which is fair i suppose since he was a few inches from being head to toe cramped in the basinett. so he's officially a crib sleeper. the past three nights. and the transition went really smoothly. as though he didn't notice the move at all. it's a bit more challenging for me though. he must be having a growth spurt or something because all last week he was getting me up every two hours. 1:00am to put his binky back in, 3:00am for a night time feed, and then usually between 4 and 5 for another binky plug. we thought this was probably because he was so scrunched in his basinett. but the crib didn't solve that problem. so i had to go from my room to jaxons room, and stand at his side until i felt it safe to go back to bed. so i wouldn't just be getting right back up again. finally last night he went back to sleeping through until 5 30 like he was doing before. i still woke up twice in the night and checking on him because i was so shocked he wasn't screaming. i miss being able to just stand up and have him there. but this is definitely better and we were all ready for it.
the buzz that the baby monitor makes is enough to drive me & ryan both crazy though.
he's starting to giggle a whole lot. but i have yet to figure out exactly what it is that makes him do so. it seems completely random. he giggled when i put a onesie on him. sometimes he laughs when i make silly noises or poke his tummy. but it's never consistent. which makes me even more excited when he does giggle. i never see it coming. but it's easily the most amazing sound in the entire world.
i've been trying to give jaxon more tummy time on his mat. but he hates it. so it never lasts long. today i freaked out because he very nearly rolled over for the first time. he made it onto his side before falling back on his tummy. it'll be soon though, my friends. possibly in next weeks post ?
things are i guess calming down for us. jaxon is getting into a good day time routine. my biggest goal is to try getting out of the house more. going places just for a change of scenery. next week i'm going to try to do a lap or two at the mall. and whatever else i can get up to. fresh air sounds really delicious right now.
we'll see.
much love,
erin. |
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| 108 :: just around the corner. |
[Jan. 8th, 2010|11:01 pm] |
everyday i spend with jaxon, i'm fascinated by something new about him. even in the less productive weeks. he surprises me with something.
this week jaxon refused to fit into several three month sleepers. i ended up putting him in one of the many unisex sleepers he got as hand-me-downs from chloe. size :: six months. GAH. i don't know if this brand of sleeper makes especially small sizes or if jaxon is a beast. but every time i have to retire an outfit to what i have labeled the "yellow box of doom", i sight a bit. today ryan finally forced me to give up his bear suit. so fine. join the others, bear suit. you'll be brought out eventually. (although, no time soon). jaxon turns three months old tomorrow. which seems slightly ridiculous to me because i'm pretty sure i brought him home from the hospital last week. in any case. he's growing good and smiling all the time and never ceasing to make my life significantly better than i could have imagined him capable of doing before his arrival.
when wanda was here a few weeks ago she started a trend of putting jaxon on her propped up legs and pulling him up into a sitting position. i liked it and followed her ideas. now jaxon is a sitting maniac. it's all he wants to do. you put him in his pillow, give him your thumbs and his first reaction is to pull himself up. almost entirely on his own. today i laughed quite hard at him because i had sat him up in his pillow so i could go get myself some lunch and he was facing the opposite direction. i hear him grunting away and look over to see the back of his bobbing head lifting off the pillow, wobbling a bit, and going back down. he'll be sitting up on his own in no time, once he learns how to balance that terribly heavy head of his.
he's also become a drooling fiend. i feel like i've written about this topic before but i can't seem to find it in any of my previous posts, so if it's a duplicate please forgive me. anyway. he's decided to take to sucking on his fist and slobbering all over everything. i've been attempting to put him into bibs more frequently. so to prevent him from needing to be changed - all the time. i've been told that when babies start to drool and put things in their mouths, it means teething is just around the corner. yikes.
i've also taught him the joy of rattles. how to hold them on his own and shake them to his little hearts content. which he does really well now. the first few times i had to put his hand around it. but now if it's in close enough proximity he's grabbing at it all on his own. and shaking away until he either drops it, or puts it in his mouth to be dribbled on. either way works for me. at least he's found something that amuses him besides me making awkward faces and silly noises. makes me feel a lot less foolish too, as an added bonus.
so as i write this jaxon is doing something that i absolutely never get tired of - sleeping soundly on dad. and seeing as they are both obviously very tired i should probably close this off and get ready for sleep myself.
much love,
erin. |
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| 107 :: hours in my day. |
[Jan. 1st, 2010|06:55 pm] |
ryan heard i didn't have a new photo of jaxon for my blog. so he suited him up.
new years. oye. i don't know where this past decade went. but it seemed to be an eventful one. graduation. moving far from home. getting married. having jaxon. yep. big decade. we had everybody at our house. which actually went very well until jaxon decided he would not be put down for bed. i don't know exactly what it was that caused this. because he had zero issue falling asleep on me. so where i thought it was over stimulation or too much noise, it just seemed to be that he was having a hard time realizing it was bed time. he was acting exactly as he does during the day. falling very soundly to sleep in my arms or even on my chest with me lying propped up in bed. but he would awake instantly if i tried setting him down in his bassinet. i then tried putting him down next to me on the bed and that actually worked. he stayed asleep. but i couldn't join him that way because i was too aware of the fear of rolling over and smothering him. so i attempted a trick. i put a nice soft blanket down in his bed and that worked like magic and he fell asleep until seven this morning. when i made ryan take him because he had decided to stay up all night, and that kept me up, and since mine was involuntary he got baby responsibility. jaxon's fits made me once again miss the count down. which i'm getting quite used to since that's what has happened at least four of the past five years that i can remember. but i got to ring in a silent new year with my baby. and that was a brand new experience for me. it was quite special. and overall, in spite of jaxon's desire to be a party animal instead of falling into peaceful slumber, i had a really good time. i get very excited when everybody is together. james and kinga, ryan o'reilly, justin and bethany, jason and amanda. with a brief stop over by jasmine and her fiance. this year is bound to be an interesting one. i can feel it already.
this week was a learned one. in the most wonderful way. we learned that jaxon will sit quite contently leaned up in my nursing pillow. and he'll stay happy there for quite a while. even sleeping in it if positioned properly. freeing up my arms. and james&kinga let us use their swing that they had for abigail. and i watched in awe as jaxon's eyes got heavier, and heavier, until he fell asleep. for the first time. not being held by somebody. it was a wonderful, sweet relief. i have been able to get a lot done since we've discovered this about jax. and though i don't always use those times of having my arms back to the best use, i feel like i have a teeny bit of my life back to myself. even if it's made up of only a few short hours in my day.
we've had a really good time this week with friends visiting from vancouver&area. we've spent a couple nights besides new years with james&kinga and getting to enjoy abigail. she's just a ball of fun and adventures and it has been really eye opening for us to see what jaxon is potentially going to be like in about seven or eight months. from what kinga has described, jaxon is quite similar to how abby was as a younger baby. and, as far as i can tell, if jaxon continues to follow in her footsteps we are in for a whole lot of fun. and probably a lot more running around.
leaving home was extremely difficult for me last week. and i wish more than anything that i could be closer to my family and friends more permanently. but it was really great to have people that i love to be around home this week. it was good and distracting. and i'm really glad they were here and that we got to spend as much time with them as we did. having a baby puts people in new perspectives and gives the best kind of excuse to spend time with people that weren't around as much previously.
oh, and wanda is moving in here with me. she just isn't fully quite aware of it yet.
erin. |
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| 105 :: jaxon's first christmas. |
[Dec. 25th, 2009|10:50 pm] |
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since i've been on a rather amazing vacation home with my family, my days feel all mixed up. i'm trying to recall what specifically happened this week over last week. because it's pretty much all just been one big wonderful blur.
we picked ryan up last saturday and already we're back in kelowna. but we spent a very eventful christmas with my side of the family. starting pretty much immediately after we retrieved ryan from the airport. we headed to my dad's side of my family and spent a chaotic few christmas hours with the 43 people that were there. five of whom were all under the age of one. it was loud. and excellent. i finally got to meet jessica's little boy (also jackson) which turned out to be quite entertaining and just slightly less confusing than i had anticipated. jaxon slept through most of the noise, somehow, and had a lovely cuddle with great-grandma reed.
we went home and mostly just hung around. i met up with some more people, played some very entertaining games with friends and family and finally got to see heather for only a FEW SHORT HOURS of my entire trip. very strange. but delightful all the same. jaxon got to meet his very first cousin. and chloe was an absolute angel. she held him and fed him and loved on him lots. it was fun to watch them interact. and having such a little body holding him made jaxon look gigantic.
last night we had christmas with the peterson's. and it was actually pretty perfect. it was just like christmas growing up, but with a few more faces. we all crammed into grandma&grandpa's mobile home and had the most amazing christmas dinner. sang christmas carols, which i thought actually sounded really good this year. everybody seemed to be signing out quite nicely. that was followed by grandpa reading the christmas story out of Luke and opening of presents. we got quite a haul.
and then finally this afternoon we flew back to kelowna. jaxon did very well again. he had me worried a bit this time though. he was a lot more awake and cranky than when we flew to calgary a couple weeks earlier. but he managed to fall asleep probably about five minutes before we took off and stayed asleep until we landed. it's a huge relief to know that he's a good traveller. he stayed asleep every time we drove to calgary and back as well. we spent the evening having robak christmas which was loaded with even MORE gifts. so many that now i have no idea where we're going to fit them all. our house seemed a tad bit bigger before this christmas.
i think it was a very successful first christmas for jaxon. lots of friends and family. and Jesus. no sickness - minus the horror of wanda's spell in our hallway - and lots of laughs and amazing memories. i wish it could have lasted longer. but there's always next year.
much love,
erin. |
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| 104 :: take in all the chaos. |
[Dec. 18th, 2009|12:13 pm] |
last saturday we : wanda, jaxon and myself, flew from kelowna to calgary. i was very nervous about how jaxon would do flying but thanks to a lot of answered prayers, he was a dream on that plane. he slept the entire time. once we landed in calgary we met up with the olsons for dinner. jaxon was fed and passed around and put back into the car and slept the ENTIRE three hour drive home. without so much as a peep. i was very impressed.
we have had visits from a lot of people. and it's been extremely nice to meet up with my home town friends and to have a break from being a full-time mommy. there are definitely a lot of hands here that are willing to help out. unfortunately jaxon has decided that his one week of sleeping through the night was enough for now and has gone back to waking me up good and early around three in the morning. but, if you can believe this, he is fast asleep. it is noon. and nobody is holding him. it's what i'd like to call my christmas miracle. we've found that he loves sleeping in this chair my mum has. and he'll stay sleeping in it for a good long time. which leaves all of our hands free for whatever needs to be done in our day.
so today we're heading up to calgary. ryan's flight gets in quite early tomorrow so we're staying over at a hotel tonight and picking him up then. i'm very excited to see him. and also excited to get into calgary early enough to finally get some christmas shopping done. i'm a horrible procrastinator. yikes. tomorrow is the reed family christmas. i'm sad because mat&jodie are both not going so that makes me the only reed child present. of this reed family anyway. but regardless i'm still excited to go see the family and take in all the chaos that is always the reed family christmas.
my mum is probably going to be home any time and i have a lot to get done before i'm anywhere near ready to leave this house. so i should get going. see you on christmas !
erin. |
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| 103 :: by the bethlehem. |
[Dec. 12th, 2009|10:04 am] |
this past week has been easily one of my favourite. i got to spend it all with wanda. and she got to have jaxon a lot. which made my life easier in preparation for the big trip home we are about to take. and also easier to have a good shower without jaxon getting upset. we had an excellent time. it's nice when you have that kind of friend who you haven't seen in over a year but it feels like you weren't apart at all upon reuniting.
this week jaxon got his first vaccinations. which i was nervous for. he did incredible. he was crying pretty good during the process but he was almost instantly quiet once she was finished. and he fell asleep really good afterwards. the nurse we had was really great and it's probably one of the best feelings to be asked if you're baby is doing certain things and to be able to say yes, and know that he's developing at a normal and healthy rate. he weighed in at around thirteen pounds when he was weighed there (although he was weighed with his clothes on and who knows how heavy that diaper was at the time...). he's within the 75th percentile for weight and 50th for length.
he's also been chatting like mad this week. and decided it was time to make his first ever giggle. i teared up, just a bit.
we went to living nativity last night. i was really excited that we managed to be here for it and also that we could take wanda to it. i liked the way they set it up this year and it was neat seeing corinne (grandma) as a part of the great hall. the play was definitely better than last years, but still can't compare to the play ryan was in. and i was really quite disappointed by the bethlehem. it got considerably downsized. but it was probably a good thing considering the moment we stepped in jaxon decided to wake up and start screaming. but he was really good through the entire play and while we walked around the great hall. it would have felt really strange to not have had that a part of our christmas season this year.
i have a lot of packing to do. so in spite of this being a really busy and excellent week, i'm a bit to distracted and somewhat overwhelmed by all i have to get done. but i think i got a fairly good summary of this past week laid out. we leave today for alberta. me and wanda and jaxon. ryan to follow in a week. this is going to be jaxon's first time flying and i'm a bit curious and terribly nervous about how he's going to fair. fortunately it's a short flight and then we'll be almost instantly in the land of cold and way too much snow. but i'm super excited to see my family and have jaxon meet all the people that have played such huge roles in my life growing up. it's bound to be an excellent holiday.
erin. |
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| 102 :: far from pleasant. |
[Dec. 4th, 2009|08:12 pm] |
this week jaxon got to meet his first of three great grandmothers. which is kind of exciting. i love that jaxon will get to meet his great grandparents. i always thought kids who knew their greats were really lucky. i have one very vague mental image in my head of meeting one of my great grandma's. but i never got to know them. and i don't think i have any picture with them. jaxon is going to have lots of photo's with his great grandparents.
on wednesday i escaped my house with amanda. which would be my first girl friend outing since... before jaxon was born i suppose. ryan had youth so we had to bring jax with us, and he decided to show his fussy side. which was a bit less than desirable but didn't really damper my extreme enjoyment of being out with a friend. we did a lap at the mall and a lap at walmart and amanda got to experience what it feels like when old women come up to you as though they've known you for years and years and ask about your baby. and the equally wonderful experience of having spit up go down your shirt. i think that makes her officially part of the club.
jaxon decided a couple nights ago that he wanted to sleep almost completely through the night. going down around eleven and waking me up at 5 30, and then doing so again the next night. this is big news because it gives me about an extra hour of sleep. and it's nice not having to get up at three in the morning. but i think it beat my body up. my body doesn't seem to like new routines of any kind, even if it seems to be for the better. the last two nights i have been painfully tired. and painfully overwhelmed. it's really exhausting having jaxon all day and then passing him off just to be housewife all night. it's not a job i hate, it's actually what i've wanted since i can remember contemplating my future when i was young. but it's definitely more of a challenge then i thought it would be. then last night jaxon decided to go back to his old routine so i found myself sleeping for three hours this morning in my chair with jax trying to squeeze in a few extra hours.
this morning joyce meyer was talking about living with God's peace. and how satan tries to mess us up by messing with our peace. getting us in fights or upset in some way to dismantle us. and he's good at it. i've definitely been lacking peace the past couple evenings due to my sleep deprivation. but tonight i decided i wasn't going to let him get to me. when i felt angry and frustrated at all the stuff i had on my plate i just stopped what i was doing and went to lay down for a bit. instead of what would usually happen that would probably get me and ryan into an upset that would be far from pleasant. when i got back i was still tired. but far less likely to do any damage. i also downloaded a bunch of joyce meyer podcasts so that if i miss her show in the morning i can still have that fifteen minutes to half an hour Jesus time that i find comes in quite handy and have a hard time squeezing in later on in my day.
monday is a big day for me and jaxon. it is the day that wanda comes to kelowna. for the first time to see me. and i couldn't be more thrilled if i tried to be. i don't know exactly what we'll do for entertainment considering i have zero dollars to my name, but we've always been pretty clever when we've put our brains together. i haven't seen wanda in over a year. for sure since before i was pregnant and since i wasn't home for christmas last year i didn't see her then either. so it's been a long time. and it should never happen again.
now i have to go work on some photo's i took of jax today and see if any of them are good enough to grace the top of this blog. hopefully the one i picked does him justice.
erin. |
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| 101 :: wider than the ocean. |
[Nov. 27th, 2009|10:40 pm] |
this week jaxon started doing something brilliant - allowing me to sleep in until seven. he has decided that it's best to wake up around three and then sleep in a couple hours later. i love it.
he's cooing now. i think that's what "they" call those baby noises. and smiling like mad, the kind where he smiles so big that it looks like he's trying so hard to make noise and it's just not coming out. i've learned a few tricks to get him to smile wider than the ocean. but it involves making embarrassing and high pitched "doobydoobydoo" sort of noise. he loves it. he loves it even more if it is accompanied by me poking his cheeks. babies are fascinating. if someone did that to me i'd probably want to smack them.
we had jaxons doctors appointment yesterday morning. where he has grown to be 10lb 15oz and 24 inches long. so, as my doctor put it, he's "growing good". i mean really, going to those appointments all you really want to here is that your baby is healthy and that you're succeeding at being a parent. so far, so good. she also brought up the idea of starting to train jaxon. which sounds harsh but ultimately just means that i should start teaching him that he can go into his bed when he naps during the day so that i'm not confined to my rocking chair for eight hours until ryan returns home from work. and i think that'd be kind of lovely. so i'm going to work on it. because i like the idea of being able to get stuff done before ryan gets home so that i can actually spend time with him in the evening instead of having to fold laundry or clean my house up.
today was easily one of my most favourite days. it started off watching "enjoying every day life with joyce meyer". which is my simple way of getting a dose of Jesus into my day nice and early and simply. and she always has lots of good things to say and i find it quite interesting. then after jaxon's second feeding i prepped myself to leave the house. and we went on a nice long walk. it was beautiful out. the sky was a bright blue with a few big fluffy clouds. and a slight breeze. i loved every minute of it. plus it actually feels like exercise because i live on a mountain. which means the walk away from home is a breeze, and the walk back is quite a bit more intense. i made it my goal to walk to the donkeys and back. jaxon stayed awake and stared at me through the window in his stroller the entire way down and fell asleep on the way home. which i took advantage of by setting the breaks on his stroller and cleaning out my disgusting car. which, as embarrassing as this is to admit, i managed to remove two small garbage bags full of junk. it was pretty gross. then jaxon decided to stay asleep in his chair for another half hour letting me have time to just do whatever i felt like doing. with both of my arms free. it was really nice being able to watch jaxon sleep from a bit of a distance, rather than than straining to look down at him with his smushed up face on my chest. either way he's wonderful. and now it's a friday night and i decided to put him to sleep at 9 30 and spend some time writing this and watching ryan play mario brothers from 1988 and stomp his feet furiously every time he dies. i adore everything that is being a mum, thus far. but i miss having these ryan/erin moments too. this one is simple and i'm enjoying it.
until next week,
erin.
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| 100 :: girls obsessed. |
[Nov. 20th, 2009|11:21 pm] |
i'm on my 100th blog entry on this livejournal and i'm very excited about it.
on saturday we had a successful trip to the craft fair that we annually attend, as mentioned in my previous post. i learned that jaxon is ridiculously cute in his bear suit that james&kinga gave us. it has quickly become my favourite of all his accessories. but i also learned that people are crazy. and that everyone is realizing this because a lot of people were quick to assume that i was carrying around a stuffed animal in my snugli. so... i looked like a mental patient. but the people who were willing to ask me if there was "a baby in there" were even quicker to agree that my baby, in his bear suit, was the cutest baby in the whole world. little did they know how equally adorable he is in anything else i put him in. he was really good with being out. we walked around the craft fair for probably around an hour or so and he didn't fuss at all, unil i took him out and we had to get him back in his car seat. i was a very pleased mother.
we're on our fifth type of formula for jax. hopefully this last one will make him comfortable and less fussy. we'll see.
i got hit by a car on wednesday. i stopped at a red light and the lady behind me didn't think i was going to, so she hit me. i was fortunate because i was pushed into the intersection, instead of a car that could have been stopped in front of me, and nobody had entered the intersection from the other direction. so an accident that could have been really bad, really wasn't. me and jaxon are both fine. i had a headache for the rest of the day after but so far as i can tell, that was the worst of my injuries. the woman that hit me felt terrible. and in my mind i was thinking "if i'm ok, and jaxon is ok then that's all that matters" and i felt bad for how badly she felt. she had been side swiped in her vehicle only three months ago and had just bought a new van, which now has a crushed up front end. she had her four year old daughter in the vehicle and fortunately they were both completely fine as well. she was a very sweet and genuine lady. and i had no worries that everything would be resolved cleanly. and it was. when we reported the accident to ICBC she had already called in and took full responsibility. so we have nothing to worry about as far as getting the damage repaired goes. truly, thank God.
i spent probably an hour last night cleaning jaxon's room. yes, it's already messy and he's not even old enough to be the one to blame just yet. it was really disorganized and i was crawling with irritation from it. so, now it's not a problem. at all. i'm very pleased with the job i did.
tonight was twilight. and it was the first time that i felt like i wanted to go out bad enough that i could leave jaxon behind. so we dropped him off with the grandparents and went to the movie. the thing that i've really come to like about kelowna theaters is that the company that owns The Grand, the nicest theater in the city, has also come to own The Paramount. which is generally pretty run down and not a popular theater at all. when a huge movie comes out at the grand, it's also playing at the paramount. but with no threat of being sold out or even busy really. so we went down there, and sure enough it was maybe just over half full. half full of girls obsessed over taylor lautner. i was shocked by the silence that was present when edward came on screen compared the the amount of noise that came ANY TIME jacob showed up. anyway. also turns out that the paramount has been working on upgrading. it has brand new seats and the walls are all really nice now. so it was even more comfortable than normal. and the movie, well i really enjoyed it. it was a lot better done than the first one and the details were more to the book, i thought, than the first one as well. and when it was over we returned to jaxon who was completely and comfortably sound asleep. and a set of grandparents who hugely enjoyed having his company for the two hours we were gone. i missed him, but not in a nervous or anxious way. mostly in an "it'll be nice to have him back when we're done" sort of way. it was really great to have time with ryan by ourselves for the first time in a loooong time.
now as i write this i see my husband fast asleep in the rocking chair with my baby sleeping soundly in his arms. what can possibly be better than that ? this next week has nothing planned. so it'll be interesting to see what surprises are waiting for us.
erin. |
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| 099 :: dear bald baby |
[Nov. 13th, 2009|05:27 pm] |
i got barfed on today. barfed on real good.
oh my dear bald baby. ryan commented today saying that he has a bald mullet going on . because the hair in the back is getting incredibly long. and he is truly completely bald on top. what a character he is...
this week was kind of chaotic. with ryan being sick and me not knowing when he should be back in the house or holding jaxon or what not. i felt like i was in this battle against this sickness. it seemed very much like the swine flu. and i wasn't willing to risk jaxon getting sick, but i hated having ryan away. especially when he seemed to be completely fine. it was hard for me to know if he was really better, or if the medicine was just doing it's job really well. i'm really glad that whole ordeal is over and done with. now i need to get myself vaccinated at some point.
i had my mum come stay with us for a week. to help with jaxon while ryan was out of the game. the one day i had on my own was really challenging for me. so i really appreciated having the extra help. plus we had this great routine of me taking care of jaxon all night and handing him off at six or six thirty in the morning and going back to bed. it was wonderful to get those extra hours of sleep in. now, losing them. painful. haha.
i think jaxon is in one of my most favourite stages so far. smiling. he is good and cranky a lot of the time. but the moment he is put on his change table, his face starts beaming. he loves it. he smiles for a good amount of time. and it's just fun to watch his faces. he loves lying on his back. it's getting easier to put him down during the day - as long as it's not in his bassinet. he does not appreciate being put in there when it's day time. but it's actually incredible to watch him light up when he's on his change table. i love it. his entire face crinkles up when he smiles. it's hard not to love that face.
since i've been in kelowna we've gone every year to the craft sale at prospera. and it's this weekend. i'm very excited. so i'm going to pack jaxon up and hope that he doesn't mind his snugli too much. it'll be the first time actually trying to use it outside of the house. so... we'll see i guess. i'm on the lookout for a stocking and an ornament for jaxons first christmas. but i want to find the perfect stocking that he can have forever. so i'm being really picky. i love that i've had the same stocking since i was about two years old. and i want that to be the same for jaxon. so that every year when it gets unpacked with the christmas decorations he'll get excited to see it. i love this season.
erin. |
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| 098 :: i am no single mum. |
[Nov. 6th, 2009|05:06 pm] |
this has been quite an eventful week for my little family.
my brother and hayley came to visit us over the halloween weekend. that was excellent. i really enjoyed having them here and having them meet jaxon. now brody is the only one in my immediate family who has yet to meet my little boy. he's missing out, that one ! we went shopping at sears with a gift card we received (oh, how i adore gift cards) and i found easily the most amazing outfits for jax. they are dr. suess. i got him a onesie that he'll fit into for christmas that is of the grinch who stole christmas, and then for next year i bought him a sleeper that is of horton hears a who. because that story is easily one of my most memorable pieces of my childhood with my dad. and i'm excited for that to be something special for jaxon to share with him some day too. because truly, you haven't fully lived life until you hear my dads voices for horton hears a who.
on wednesday jaxon had a very important party to go to, thrown by grandma robak. knowing he was going to be the star of the show i wanted to make sure he was squeaky clean. so the night before me and ryan got him all bathed up. while washing his hair, and getting peed on (again), i started to notice that his hair was falling out. indeed it was falling out quite rapidly. and now, he's got a good sized bald spot. he's starting to look much like his grandpa reed. sometimes when i look at him, i just can't take him seriously.
jaxon had a great time at his baby shower. he got a lot of good loot and he met some really great ladies. seriously, really great ladies. he managed to be awake most of the time without screaming. although there was definitely some screaming involved. and afterward we came home to my dad stopping by for a very brief stay on his way home from vancouver. he stayed basically long enough to hold jaxon, get a good nights sleep, hold jaxon again, and take off. like i say, brief. but i fully enjoyed it. really, a few precious hours with my family is all i need these days.
i'm writing this entry a night in advance. because i'm awake, and alone. ryan has officially come down with the swine flu. i haven't seen him since probably around eleven this morning. he woke up feeling awful, actually listened to me when i told him not to go to work, and then went to see a doctor. he's been staying at his parents house ever since. and i've only had a few breakdowns. fortunately more in relation to missing having him around and not because i'm a mental case :) but let me tell you, there is no scarier feeling then feeling hopeless about keeping your baby safe. my hugest fear in the whole world is that jaxon catch this. in the few moments he's let me put him down i've been running furiously around the house wiping everything down with clorox disinfecting wipes. i really don't know what else i can possibly do. my first fear is his health, and then mine. because i don't know what i'd do if i got sick and couldn't take care of him. my mum is coming here tomorrow to help me out with jaxon until ryan is back to full health. and i cannot wait for her to get here. i am no single mum, this much is true. my one day of full time work has been exhausting. and i'm ready for another pair of arms. so really, all i have to do is make it through this night and then all will be well - not all. but my sanity will be. the part of me that is hating having ryan even an eight minute drive away, that will not be fixed for i don't even know how long. i'm praying for fast recovery. i am a married girl, this single business is definitely not my taste. HUNNY GET HOME !
anyway. i suppose i should try to get back to bed. jaxon is going to be waking me up in a few short hours. i had best be prepared.
erin.
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| 097 :: cherish those quirks. |
[Oct. 29th, 2009|08:43 pm] |
i can't believe my boy is 3 weeks old already. that means the next time i write here, he'll be a month old. *shiver*. he's grown an entire four inches since birth and now weighs 8lbs 13oz. what am i going to do ? he won't stop growing. this means he's going to be an adult soon. maybe not soon. but it seems to feel like it could be soon.
my family left me just over a week ago - a week that has felt more like a hundred years. i didn't know how i was going to do being on my own with jax, with the exception of evenings&weekends. there hadn't been a night before last tuesday that i had to feed, burp, and lull jaxon back to sleep on my own. and i was terrified. the nights were my worst enemy when i had my mum there ! let alone when i had to do it by myself. the first couple nights were really hard, enter formula, enter sweet relief. and starting two nights ago jaxon decided to start eating more at 1:00 and not getting me up again until 5:30 instead of 4:00. we love this new routine.
i learned this week that i should not be allowed to go to any store by myself that has a baby aisle. even if that store is coopers and i'm just running down to grab some pasta for dinner. i ended up investing in a binky clip. because jaxon has learned quite quickly to grab his binky out of his mouth and throw it on the floor. i just remembered now that his favourite of all binky's is sitting on the floor under one of the kitchen chairs... so i'd say buying that little clip was a good idea. the not so necessary item i also purchased was a baby einstein rattle thing that probably would have been at least two dollars cheaper if it had been purchased at walmart. in addition, i think at this age the thing just creeps him out.
jaxon has this habit of being completely content lying in his bassinet, as long as he can see either me or ryan. the moment we leave his line of sight he decides to scream quite fitfully. when i attempt to put him down for the night he tends to wake up, regardless of how fast asleep he may have been moments before while i was holding him. and as long as i'm standing over his bed, he'll be fine and start falling back to sleep. but if i try getting into bed before he's completely passed out, he will wake himself up fully and start fussing. so i've given in to his demands and find myself standing by him, rocking his bassinet, making sure his binky is in place, for probably about twenty minutes before i can comfortably get into bed without having to get back up only moments later. frustrating ? i'd say yes, but it's also nice to know that jaxon gets comfort out of knowing i'm there. it's nice to feel needed, especially when you know that just being there seems to make things ok for him.
i still can't believe he's growing so fast. i wish babies would give their parents a break and slow down so we don't feel like time's slipping away so easily. but i suppose the only thing we can do is soak up as much of our babies as possible, what a blessing they are !
erin.
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| 096 :: he's a time bomb. |
[Oct. 23rd, 2009|09:52 pm] |
| [ | i am ... |
| | ktichen table. | ] |
| [ | i'm feeling... |
| |  pleased | ] |
| [ | listening to... |
| | watching "the cable guy" with ryan. | ] |
 i learned a few things this week ::
i) nursing is really not a lot of fun. and neither me or jaxon enjoyed it much. so i decided to try going one day with only giving him formula to see if if it made for a better night. it seemed that every time i nursed him, it upset his stomach and he wouldn't be comfortable again for a good few hours. the first night on only formula was the easiest night since he's been born. he got me up every two hours or so but he was only up for an hour at a time. it was wonderful. much better than the night before when he was up for three hours and refusing to go onto his back. so he's a formula baby, and we aren't looking back.
ii) if you start changing him right as he decides to start pooping, you're going to go through about three diapers before he's REALLY finished. it took me two mishaps before learning that if it looks like he's making a poopie, you give him a good solid amount of time to make sure he's finished before attempting to change him. this was a lesson that ryan got to learn this evening as well. i think next time he'll listen to me. haha.
iii) it's a good idea to leave his diaper on when washing his hair, until he's ready to go full on into the tub. i got peed on something fierce last night at bath time. all over my side, my arm, and my bathroom floor. lesson learned.
this week has been a learning one. big time. i got spewed on twice, peed on several times, and am celebrating my backwards time clock. which is unusual. i don't think i ever expected to get excited the day when being woken up at four in the morning didn't hurt. i've also been experiencing the pain of what they call "baby blues". which only a call to my mum seems to cure. having my family leave on tuesday morning was the hardest moment of my new motherhood thus far. it's really not a good feeling to not know when the next time they'll see jaxon is. but i was so fortunate to have them stay with me for as long as they did. and having to be up at night all alone with jax is proof of just how much having my mum here helped me out. and i appreciate her willingness to get up with him very much.
he's starting to get a good attitude on him. he's keeping his eyes open more just to look around, and not just as a sign that in a matter of seconds he's going to turn bright red and start screaming at the top of his little lungs. ryan calls him a time bomb. because you really don't know when he's going to go off. every day i look at him and can't get past that he's really mine. i don't know how long it's going to take for it to sink in that i get to keep him. i'm his mum. he's my son. it's really a strange feeling. but most often a really good feeling as well.
erin.
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| 095 :: somewhat crazy emotional. |
[Oct. 15th, 2009|11:41 pm] |
i missed last weeks post. but i'm going to say that it's fair because i was in somewhat excruciating labor. when i wrote my first post two weeks ago i wasn't expecting that honestly a week from that day, on his due date, my sweet boy would be born. i learned today that only 2% of babies are born on their due date. which i think makes jaxon an even more perfect and special baby. he was born on october 9th at 8:44 pm and came weighing 7lbs 9oz and being 20" long. the whole labor experience is really quite difficult to describe. so much is running through your head. but the feeling of knowing what you just accomplished the moment that baby is born, it's powerful and overwhelming.
this week has been a rollercoaster. an expression i hear all the time but haven't experienced a time in my life where it has been more applicable. there is NOTHING compared to the first feelings of mommy hood. loving every minute you get to spend with this new little life, while having all sorts of doubts and fears at the same time. the relief of, after four days of struggles, getting the concept of nursing down almost to a fine art - almost being the key word. and now having to deal with the intense pain, and wonder, that the job of nursing actually entails. i know i'm blessed. four days is nothing compared to what most women struggle through when it comes to nursing their babies.
today i'd have to say has been the hardest day i've had since meeting jaxon face to face. hormones are rotten things. mixing them with an incredible lack of sleep makes a girl go insane in ways she's never experienced before. i spent 2/3 of my day crying i'd say - or weeping might be the more appropriate word. i can be sure that if i didn't have an incredible support system including my mum and sister and of course my dear ryan, i think i'd be sitting in some corner of my house with a paper bag over my head. i have no doubt in my mind that things are going to get increasingly easier as the days go by. but in the mean time, while being somewhat crazy emotional, i'm going to enjoy my lovely baby and the incredible gift God has given me in letting me have him.
erin.
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| 094 :: a week in counting... |
[Oct. 2nd, 2009|12:07 pm] |
so i'm a week exactly away from my due date with jaxon. i was thinking it might be a neat concept for me to try to do weekly updates of my new life as a mum (weird). i'm bad with normal journaling and i've been equally bad with livejournaling lately. but i think it'd be pretty awesome for me to have this to look back on if i manage to stick with it.
i figured the best time to start is a week before i'm due. so we'll see if he decides to be on time ! but basically all i can say about right now is that i'm eager. i have days where i'm emotional with excitement and days where i'm emotional with fear. i picture the moment where he's put on my chest for the first time and i get to see his pretty little face and i just can't wait for that moment. and then ryan won't ask me every single day "erin, when is jaxon coming ?".
we had a prenatal class this past sunday. it was about seven hours of information. my memory is terrible so i don't remember it all, but i do feel more confident going into this adventure now that i have a bit more insight to the process. i think the most enjoyable part was just being in a room full of other pregnant women who also had no idea what they were in for.
i'm excited to once again have my insides to myself. but at the same time i think i'm going to miss the free entertainment of watching my tummy bounce around in huge sweeping movements. though i'm pretty convinced that having him beside me will be significantly better. so, i guess i'll keep you posted.
erin.
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| 093 :: is the epitome. |
[Sep. 3rd, 2009|08:57 am] |
i guess it's about time to update on our homeless situation.
we are moving this weekend ! to a three bedroom trailer up on black mountain where ryan is most likely going to ask me on a regular basis if he can have a hobby farm.
this has been a very interesting process for me and i've learned a huge amount about trusting God in things that are otherwise completely out of my hands. i can't give the credit for this anywhere else. because lets be honest. what are the chances of us being told we can't stay in our apartment, being told we can have this place, being told we can't have this place, getting shut down EVERYWHERE else we looked, getting told we can now for sure have this place. and for a ridiculously reasonable rate, all in the course of about a month. let's be serious with ourselves. i live in KELOWNA. it's a city for old people, rich people, and people in a lot of debt due to high cost of rent, as far as i'm concerned. our two bedroom apartment that we are in right now is costing us under 700$ rent. and that's pretty much unheard of. and now we're moving to a three bedroom place with tons more space and nobody to bother or have bother us (as far as sharing walls with neighbors) for only a hundred dollars more a month. this, my friends, is the epitome of answered prayers.
erin. |
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exhausted
anxious